Why change is so damn hard... and how to break the cycle

With seeing in the start of 2021 recently, a lot of intentions and resolutions are being set.

But how many of those will be left by the wayside when change gets tough?

It's because CHANGE CAN BE HARD! As humans, it's one of the things we fear the most. We can get stuck in the cycle of change and never end up achieving what we've hoped.

  • I wanted to talk more about change, the change cycle - and why this can be hard.

  • Why do we get stuck between resistance and fear of change?

  • Why do we sometimes eventually convince ourselves we are "just fine where we are"?

  • Why do we end up circling back around the change cycle and not making any progress forward?

Do you recognise where you are in the CHANGE CYCLE below?

1) Discontentment

You're discontent with an area of your life - this could be personal, in business or your career.

You can do this discontentment in one of a few things:

- just tolerate your current situation

- you might ignore it

- you may try to repress the feelings of discontentment

2) Breaking point

This is when something happens and you reach your limit of your discontentment - this something triggers in your brain. You think "I've had enough of this", and then this leads to the next level...

3) Decision

This is the point when you decide you are ready to change. You may declare to yourself and others that you're ready to make this change.

Yet shortly after this, comes the next step in the change cycle...

4) Fear

The fear about making the change hits you. Will it be painful? Will it require too much effort? Will the end result even be better than your current situation?

Shortly after the empowerment you're feeling empowered because of the decision and you can actually begin to feel uncomfortable with that change - you start to feel helpless, empty and question whether you are ready to make this change.

5) Amnesia

The fear of change can be so great that it actually convinces you that your original situation is actually better than the one that you're hoping to change into. You resist letting go and you forget why you wanted to make the change in the first place.

Which leads to...

6) Backtracking

You end up talking yourself out of that change.


After a while, you become discontent and reach your breaking point

How to break the cycle

In order to break this cycle – you need to understand the underlying reasons why you're allowing yourself to avoid change:

1) You don’t really want to change – you don’t really want the thing that you think you want. Maybe you're trying to conform to what others thing you “should do”.

2) You don’t know what you want – you're not allowing yourself to think about what you want. You'll never will feel inspired enough if it’s not what you really want.

3) Maybe your dream isn’t big enough – the reward isn’t big enough. Passion is what it takes to attain a goal.

4) You’re letting your fear become bigger than you – so you don’t trust yourself. You'd rather tolerate severe pain than temporary discomfort.

Ask yourself

Are you BENEFITTING FROM YOUR PROBLEM? Are you perceiving this as bigger than the change?

How does it benefit you NOT to make this change?

Take time and self reflection – be brutally honest with yourself.

Are you ready to break the cycle?

How I can help you break out of the cycle and start making positive changes

I work with a lot of clients who really want to make a change but who are feeling stuck and keep circling back through the cycle and avoiding change.

Would you like to make a change this year?

Perhaps you'd like to swap careers, to launch a business or make a change in your personal life.

Why not book in a call with me to discuss how I can help you make that change in 2021.

6 views0 comments




  • LinkedIn
  • Instagram
  • Spotify
  • YouTube
  • Facebook
© Spark Succeed Coaching & Consulting Ltd 2020.  All rights reserved. Company Reg No. 12434937